Before becoming a mom I never realized the importance of self-care time. More often than not, I took for granted my available time, and without even noticing I was badly administering it when I could have been using that time to invest in myself. Now that my days seem so short to do everything I need, it’s as if the hours slip away between my fingers filled up with kid-related tasks and at the same time passes by so slowly to the point that sometimes it seems like the day will never end, I reflect now and think about how “spoiled” I was.
Honestly, I don’t regret being a mom for a second but we all agree that It’s the hardest job in the world, where we continuously neglect ourselves and our needs in the name of our family. Feeling overwhelming is inevitable and that a meltdown is about to erupt just adds more to our anxiety.
Self Care Is A Necessity
After a long day in this “12 to 12 job” my rescue time is usually what I call my spa, which is a few minutes in the shower before bed that I always have to fight to do it alone without a two and five-year-old. This little self-care time does so much for me and usually works as an outlet to recharge my inner battery so I can keep going the very next day with what sounds a lot like an infinity circle.
There are days where I take hours just repeating to myself like a mantra “it’s dirty and that’s okay” or “ignore it”. I learned after having my second daughter that ignoring certain things is a necessity that will keep me away from collapsing down to the abyss of depression or having a panic attack which will do much worse to my overall well-being than toys all over the house.
Looking back just a few years ago when I was a perfect mother before having kids makes me laugh. I can’t stop thinking about how naive I was. I repeatedly said – my kids won’t have tablets- which I soon realized was a lost argument when I drove for the first time with a toddler crying her lungs out in the back seat.
Being a mother taught me several lessons including to let it go when I have no control over something. It taught me that to be a good mom and wife I also need to be and do good to myself. That time I take every night before bed in the shower is my sanctuary is where I recover from the daily stress routine and simply breathe under the flow of a warm bath and I praise that moment and reserve the right to spend it alone. A shower might not sound like a lot but, we all need our escape zone and that’s my daily self-care goal to relax.
12 Self Care Tips For The Busy Moms
Amid so many things I’ve learned in 5 years of motherhood here a few topics that I have been working on and that I am excited to share with you.
1// Stop feeling guilty. You have done your best and that is plenty valuable.
2// Set a realistic goal – Don’t plan to clean your two-story house in a day, food preparation for the week, homeschool your kids so at the end of the day you feel like a failure. Take it slow, set simple and achievable goals, and include yourself in your list, which takes us to the next tip.
3// Start a self-care journal – It can only take a minute to accomplish if you aim at an object that can be incorporated into your daily routine, whether is doing your nails or simply washing your hair. For example, do your groceries at a location where there’s a close-by nail /hair salon. Write down later that day what you have done that can be considered self-care, how you feel about it and you plan to continue doing it.
4// The house is a mess? Let it go. Take the day off from your chores when you feel like your emotions are about to strike big time. Focus on feeling better and forget about anything else.
5// Find your sanctuary– whether is reading a chapter of a book, blogging, gardening, writing a journal, or taking a bath, It yours. It only belongs to you and you alone. You don’t have to share it with anybody and it’s okay to be selfish in this sense.
6// Write down 3 things each day of the week that you like about yourself, maybe is a physical feature, maybe is a talent that you have. Take a moment to appreciate your beauty from inside and out and everything you do for your family.
7// Manage your time with wisdom. – Don’t try to take more than your plate can handle. Homeschooling your kids, while having them enrolled in ballet classes, karate, swimming, can be harmful not only to your children but also to yourself. Have a day or two in the week where the goal is just to do nothing. For religious reasons, my “LAZY DAY” is Sunday, which is when I and my husband spend our day on the bed, watching movies, reading the scriptures, playing family games with the kids, and above all relaxing and getting physically and mentally ready for the week ahead.
8// Discover something that connects you with your inner divine nature – the worst hours of my day in terms of anxiety is usually in the morning when I wake up to what I know will be full of trouble that is usually caused by two little monkeys that I love more than words can explain. When I feel like my emotions are way more than I can handle alone, I turn to connect to my Lord and Savior and I often do it by listening to the audio version of the bible or by simply listening to “Everything” by Lauren Daigle.
9// Be Grateful – listening to this song reminds me how blessed I am and that I have all I need and asked for, that I am not forgotten, that I am loved, and that I am the only version of me that ever existed and ever will, which makes me rare and priceless. Take notes on what you are grateful for and read it every day.
10// Stop being so hard on yourself – Think fast! Tell me 10 good things you like about yourself. Now, tell me 10 things that you don’t like about yourself. Have you noticed how easy it was for you to come up with the second list while you struggled with the first one? Another day, my two years old looked at me and said “ you are so beautiful, mommy”. When I inspected in the mirror, what she saw that was so beautiful all I could see was a woman still in her pj’s with a crazy hair bun up in her head. That simple phrase from my daughter made me rethink my entire perception of myself and how I usually judge with no mercy who I am and how I look.
11// Train your thoughts- Replace any negative thoughts with positive ones until you create a habit of seeing only good things about yourself.
Exercising self-care and self-love requires time, though. Do not be frustrated or disappointed if things do not change immediately and you don’t feel relief, It’s your subconscious working which in some cases was trained to think negatively about you for years. It may be a few months before you can notice the effect of training your thoughts.
Remember that we are way more than our bodies, mommies tummies, and wrinkles. We are unique creatures formed in perfection since our mother’s womb. Why should we all worry so much about our figures? Who, in fact, are we trying to please? If the answer to these questions doesn’t circle back to you there’s a problem right there.
12// Learn to Let It Go
Think of what has been bordering you, think of things you can’t resolve but are still plaguing your mind, and just let it go. Think of your career and what you want to achieve and be certain that there’s still time to chase your dreams.
When doubts come to your mind it helps to think of all you have been through and that all that experience created who you are. These experiences made you so much stronger and have more power in your phycology than you can ever comprehend.
Self-Care Is A Journey To Learn How To Appreciate Your Uniqueness
You are a remarkable divine creature with potential and abilities that even you would be astonished to see. You are kind to the core, loving and passionate and you have extreme fortitude but you still lack confidence and this just points to a habit that can be reversed. Isn’t easy and does not have to happen overnight.
Re-educating yourself to appreciate who you are and to see life more positively may require the same amount of time it took for you to down-measure your value and in some cases, this means a lifetime.
Morning after morning I have to make a choice that includes succumbing to my misery or fight back to believe that I can improve my circumstances. It helps just to step back to see myself outside of my own body and mind and ask questions such as “would I be pleased to have a friend like me?”, “Am I funny?”, “Am I someone that can be trusted?”, “Do I love my family more than anything in this world?”.
It seems to me sometimes that is just a matter of asking the right questions instead of “ why am I so ugly? Why does nothing good work out for me? “Why can’t I lose weight?” I’ve been seeing how each negative word that comes out of my mouth impacts my well-being and the reality I live in.
Healing Requires Time
It’s a slow process to heal from all the traumatic experiences and mental issues that life can bring to us, however, it is achievable when you don’t give up on yourself. Like me, you possess the potential to overcome, to be resilient, to grow stronger. Begin now the journey of self-discovering knowing that you’re kind, intelligent, capable, powerful and that these things are written in your very-being. See what you are made of, push yourself out of your comfort zone, I think you’d be pleasantly surprised.
I can’t tell how many times I had to be reborn to endure life as it was and every time since I was 12 and had my first episode of depression I felt like something just stayed behind for the good. Today I consider that I am way closer to heal from all the traumas that formed my character and personality to a better version of me.
How Past Should Not Determine Our Future
Our history should not determine what we are but can give us the experience of how to handle this stressful time of being mothers and everything else in life. We can all learn from our past and achieve a better goal than just survive one day after another.
Essential Oils I Use Every day That Can Help To Reduce the Feeling of Anxiousness
|doTerra Adaptiv||dōTERRA Magnolia Touch|
|Helps boost mood|
Increases feelings of tranquility
Reduces feeling of anxiousness
|Calming and relaxing|
May help ease the anxious feeling
Products I Recommend For Stress & Anxiety Relief
- Neck Massager Pillow With Bluetooth Music
- Foot Bath Electric Massage
- Silk Pillowcase for Hair and Skin with Hidden Zipper
- Foot Massager Machine with Heat
Download Here Your 60 Self Care Journal Prompts
This post or video contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission for purchases made through my links”